Thursday, September 18, 2008

"Loss and Gain"

Dear Nora,

Upon reading your poem "Loss and Gain" in The Household Book of Poetry, I found I had some suggestions which you may find particularly useful in continuing to edit your poem.

To begin, I believe that your subject has special significance, especially when using the poetic form. It seems that such a sensitive, heart-wrenching topic would be rather difficult to deal with in the form of a short story or novel -- that poetry possesses the unique ability to capture emotions and thoughts with relatively little explanation. However, while your form in general may be correct for dealing with your subject matter, I feel that a different type of poetry may do a better job of communicating your feelings to the audience. The singsong nature of the aabb rhyme scheme and regular meter used throughout your poem truly detracts from its heavy subject matter. At times, I simply could not help but find myself caught up in the musical feel to the point where I nearly forgot that you were writing about the deaths of two small children. By adjusting your poem to free verse (or perhaps just a less rigid pattern) I think you will find that your words can have a greater impact on your reader.

For instance, let's play with the first stanza. Originally, it reads:

When the baby died, we said,
With a sudden, secret dread:
"Death, be merciful, and pass;--
Leave the other!"--but alas!

A possible (clearly imperfect!) adjustment to a more free verse:

After the baby's death, we wavered, pleading,
Secretly dreading,
"Death--
be merciful and pass; Leave
the other..."
However, alas!

Additionally, while I understand your desire to appeal to a mass audience, I find that your poem nonetheless does too much interpretation for your readers. Giving your audience a stand-alone image of an abandoned broken toy cluttered with small fingerprints without explaining the toy's significance for the parents could leave those readers with a greater sense of loss than when you fully explain your symbol (it "will remind them how the boy/And his sister charmed the days/With their pretty, winsome ways."). I would suggest going through your poem and reworking such symbols so that they leave an impression of emptiness and loss.

I have great expectations for your work!

Your editor,
Carolyn

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Emily Dickinson

It seems that, when studying Emily Dickinson, many people get caught up on the fact that she was such a recluse. Of course, it's true that Dickinson spent a great deal of her time closed up in her room, but her poetry and correspondence provide further dimension to Dickinson as a social being.

In 236, it seems as though Dickinson speaks directly to those who question her lonely lifestyle, wondering why she does not even venture out to attend church. She somewhat brazenly refutes the notion that one must go to church in order to achieve salvation in this poem, perhaps even suggesting that her Sabbath is superior when she asserts that "instead of getting to Heaven, at last/I'm going, all along" (11-12). Her sarcastic, almost mocking tone is apparent throughout, but especially when she tells us that, at home, "God preaches, a noted Clergyman," suggesting that the supposedly holy people who criticize her have completely lost sight of true faith. In fact, they are so submerged in society that they focus more on human clergy than on God himself.

In the context of 236, Dickinson is clearly aware that others label her as different, that they wonder why she chooses to sit alone, writing in her bedroom. Many of her other poems express a similar awareness of naysayers as she writes a "letter to the World," reads of her "countrymen- [who] judge tenderly - of [Her]," and assertively expresses her belief that "The Brain - is wider than the Sky" and "deeper than the sea." It seems like, in her mind, it is her own views versus the views of the world -- that the two positions are polar opposites.

After reading 225, I honestly can't blame Dickinson for wanting to be separate from the world. To only be a "Wife! Stop there!" would be quite the difficult existence for a woman as strong and talented as Dickinson...

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Three Words on "The Brothers"

“Bat”

Though perhaps an odd selection at first glance, Alcott’s comparison of Robert and the bat in Aesop’s fable does an excellent job of capturing the tragedy of Robert’s mixed race, a very important theme throughout her story. In the beginning of “The Brothers,” Robert explains to Miss Dane that he would “rather be up here with the fever than down with those niggers; and there a’n’t no other place fer [him]” (2). At that moment, Alcott takes pity on him, realizing the isolation that Robert experiences every day simply because, “like the bat in Aesop’s fable, he belonged to neither race” (2). However, as the story develops, we begin to realize that, as the “bat,” Robert is not only misunderstood by others; he does not understand himself or his own place in the world either, forming the central conflict of the story and paving the path for Robert’s self-discovery.

“Gentleman”

At one point in the story, Miss Dane says that “the captain was a gentleman in the world’s eye, but the contraband was the gentleman in [hers]” (3). This realization truly serves as the basis for her mission to teach Robert to respect himself – to see himself as she sees him. In the end, when Robert chooses to be the bigger person and not kill his brother, he proves Miss Dane right, dispelling stereotypes and embodying the expectation anyone would have of a perfect gentleman.

“Poisonous”

While Alcott originally used this word to describe the captain’s breath, I think that the “poisonous” has racial and relational significance in the story as well. We see the poison of racism running rampant in the story, forming the way in which others, blacks and whites alike, view Robert. Racism truly poisons Robert’s sense of self, making it difficult for him to see himself as fully human and causing him to expect less of himself than what he is truly capable of. In terms of relationships, we cannot deny how racism poisons families; Robert’s mixed blood essentially excuses the captain’s rape of Lucy, nearly causing one brother to kill another.